Friday, April 16, 2010

I think I'm Running Out of Gas!

So many memories.... so long ago! Summer 03?... summer 04?... Or could it be even longer? Maybe it was summer 02?.... Don't even remember!


SHHMACK #5



Thursday, April 15, 2010

Never Knew! .... Or Maybe I Did!

Or did I? ... Ya I think I always knew I was picky, but maybe I just wasn't willing to admit it! Or maybe I just didn't know I was THIS picky!

So I'm on a quest, quest to find a new apartment! I need to move and it needs to happen NOW... or at least soon!

So this is what happened! I love the apartment I live in now but It's time to move, fresh start, new beginnings.... plus It's to expensive! So me and Thomas decided to stay in the same building but just downsize to a 1 bedroom! They had one available about two weeks ago and we started packing our stuff! Half way through the move I have to get ready fr work so we decide to finish everything the next day! ....While at work I decide that I don't want to live in the new unit! I felt like I was settling and that I didn't want it! So I went home after work and moved everything back in the middle of the night! So I basically lived in the new apartment for 12h! After that I returned the key, said sorry to the landlord and went back to my old and messy apartment!

So now I'm hunting for a new apartment again, and I really want to live in queen anne! Me and Josh spend all Tuesday looking at 7 units, I WAS EXHAUSTED! It's Friday night now and out of the 7 units there is only one I'm still thinking about..... meaning only one I'm actually considering! I really liked the apartment but is that the apartment I want? Can I make that my home? ..... Do I want to make that my new home? It's really nice but I'm just not getting that feeling! I need to walk in and get that feeling..... you know what I'm talking about! The This is it" feeling where everything feels just right! Am I being to picky? Am I spoiled?..... At the end of the day I need to be happy with the space I choose to live in so It's okay! Yes maybe I'm picky but I have to feel at home in my own home!

Time to go on a hunt again!

GAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! Soooooooooooooo Haaaaaaaaaard!


Tuesday, April 6, 2010

A Vice....

Find a place that's not dark.... Find some calm, some warmth, some good music and memories.... Find a purpose, your loosing yourself!

Your consuming yourself with heavy thought, burdens and darkness! Your path is so crooked you can't see your open doors... instead your consumed by the ones that shut behind you... let go!

I would catch myself feeling sorry for you, thinking you needed guidance! But I was wrong! You got all the guidance, hands and help you needed, you just refused to see it for what it was!

GET OVER IT! Live your life! Your so busy thinking about what you don't have, what you should have and what you think you deserve that you can't see what you already got! Shit happens.... Life happens.... Your letting "life" get the best of you when you should really be focusing on getting the best out of life!

Your lost!

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Thursday, April 1, 2010

One Day All Them Bags Gone Get In Your Way!

Bag Lady, nobody ever told you all you must hold on to IS YOU! One day all them bags gone get in your way! ...... So pack light!

Bag Lady, you gone miss your buss, you can't hurry up cuz you go to much stuff! When they see u comin' they just take off running........

One day he gone say you crowdin' my space..... so pack light!

Let it go, let it go, let it go....


Wednesday, March 31, 2010

SHHMACK! #4



Ohh I'm Sorry Mama did I Step on your Toes?

Yes YEEEEES I speak my mind, and no I don't always apologize for it! Actually chances are slim to none that I ever will! There's been lots of moments when I over step my boundaries and I open my mouth just a little to fast.... those are the times when I'm more then willing to apologize! Me priding myself on being open and honest doesn't mean I don't know my place or when I should just keep my mouth SHUT! I just have occasional slips :p

Now to the once that feel offended when I speak my mind... GO HOME! Cause I sure as hell know I'm not leaving, and if my presence causes such great discomfort I suggest you leave.... cause once again... I'M NOT!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Love Rain.. Jill Scott & Mos Def

You are the beautiful distress of mathematics, for you I would peel open the clouds like new fruit and give you lightning and thunder as a dowry... I would make the sky shed all of It's stars like rain, and I will make the heavens your King.....

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Your Own Worst Enemy!


I always pride myself on being honest, sometimes to honest! I always pride myself on speaking my mind although I sometimes do it to loud! I always push myself to be the BEST at something I'm already somewhat good at, I always force myself to learn what I don't yet know! I can do whatever I tell myself I can do, I can take on any task I choose to take on and I can look at myself in the mirror and say "You can do this" and actually believe it!

Now to my next task..... How do I make you understand that you can do the same?

Friday, February 12, 2010

How do u Manage?

I've had a REALLY REALLY interesting day...... REALLY interesting! Can't believe I even made it through, but don't say "yaaaaaaay" yet I still have about 2 hours to go before the day is over! So let's just say I made it through so far!

So I started my day at 7 a.m! Time to pick up my cousins and take them to school! Then after that I took aunt #1 to the ER cause she was sick! While were sitting there at the ER I get a call from aunt #2's doctor..... She's having a baby!!!... She's not really supposed to until another 3 weeks so it was kinda unexpected but what the hell, if it's time it's time! So in the middle of me and aunt #1's ER session we had to bounce! While on our way to the car to rush to the pregnant aunt I get a
phone call.... It's my boyfriend Thomas, he has food poisoning! GREEEEEEAAAAAT! Thats juuust what I need right now! One Aunt in the ER, one in labor and a boyfriend that's throwing up and needs care! Thank you Jesus for blessing me on this wonderful February day!.... THANK YOU!


Sunday, January 24, 2010

Were Just Gonna Give U a new Laptop! ... Really?! ... Ya! Really!!

So I've had my MacBook for almost 3 years, and when I say almost it's because it had exactly 2 weeks left for it's 3rd birthday! So she was getting a little old but she was still in good shape! She was a little bit slower than she had been in the beginning but no major problems, just minor issues! When I bought my laptop I also purchased a 3 year insurance for $180... good deal if you ask me!

So about 2 months ago my computer started restarting itself! I've been to lazy to fix it, but with only 2 weeks left on my insurance I realized I had to do it now or never! So I took it to the apple store and showed them the problem! The computer tech guy looked at my laptop, went and consulted a co-worker and then came back!!!

- So how would you feel if we just gave you a new laptop?
- EXCUSE ME... WHAT!
- You've had enough trouble with this laptop, you need a new one!
- Am I getting a used one or a new one?
- A new one, a better one then the one you had!
- WOHOOOOOOO! GIVE IT TO ME!

And so I left the apple store with a brand new computer, a new 3 year insurance and a upgrade from a regular MacBook to a MacBook Pro without paying a dime!

Wooot Woot Hurra!!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

My Moma Told me Don't Loose You cuz the Best Luck I had was You!

I love music in all it's forms..... but this cut right here makes me jump of joy right now!!!!


I love you I love you I love you!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Ice Cream Sun-DAY

I'm eating ice cream for breakfast..... some would say WTF??!! But I say MMMmmmmmm! What a great way to start a day!

Mornings are great! Even if I'm tired I try to make the best out of it! If you start your morning in a bad way there is a big chance the rest of your day won't be that fab either! I have my bad mornings to, like when you wake up and It's gray and raining outside! Days like that I just want to hide under the cover and pretend like I never woke up to begin with! But after I finally get my ass up and take a shower it's a whole other story!!!

MORNING GLORY


Friday, December 18, 2009

Sometimes


Sometimes you just want to go home!



Thursday, December 17, 2009

Insecurities

Okay I get it we all have them and I would never deny that! But then we have the once that let it take over and ruin everything for them!

I LOVE beautiful people and to be honest most people are. People tell me I'm crazy when I say that but I mean it! Everybody's beautiful, the difference is in how we take care of ourselves and how we carry ourselves! I've met so many pretty people that just wittered and faded away as soon as I carried a conversation with them..... as much as I love beautiful people I can't stand stupid people!

Back to insecurities! I believe I've always been somewhat confident! Reason I say "somewhat" is because I had to grow, learn, and accept things the way they are to get to where I am today.... today I'm a grown woman who love myself! I have lots of friends and family and we all enjoy each others company, socializing is just the most fun activity! When we get ready to go out we all try to look our best! Not necessarily for others but because anybody likes the feeling of looking good! After that we all go out together, socialize with other people and have fun! .... Now to my point! When you walk in to a bar, club or even just a store you see lots of people! A few years ago I would leave the house to go somewhere feeling good about myself, after I arrived and would see all beautiful people I would feel intimidated! .... THAT'S JUST SO WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS...... You can't let other people compromise how you feel about yourself! Your only hurting yourself, ruining your night and missing out! This is something I know today but didn't know then! Today I walk in to a room and enjoy seeing all the people, there can be 100 beautiful women there and it won't really change anything about me, I'm still going to look just the way I did when I left the house and felt good! So I'm going to keep that feeling, socialize with all the beautiful people, admire and enjoy myself!

Girls, Women, Ladies and Sisters.... I advise you to do the same!

New York

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

It Gives you Topics Like no Other!

My uncle watches CNN 24/7... If he's home CNN is on and there is no way around it! I don't mind at all but sometimes you want to watch something else!



When I was 9 I was in Dallas the whole summer, it also happened to be the year that O.J Simpson was on trial for the murder of his wife! I'm 24 now so I can appreciate CNN, but at that time I was forced to always stare at the same black man around the clock! Everything was about this man O.J and I just couldn't understand why he was more interesting than Cartoon Network! I had no way of winning, there was no way anybody was going to allow me to change the channel while his trial was airing, and of course it was airing ALL THE TIME! So CNN became the network that I related to something bad... kind of like when you eat something you really like but it happened to make you sick just once, after that it's ruined and you don't even want to smell that food EVER again!

Now, about 15 years later I can appreciate the channel for what it is. A news Channel that brings the latest to the table, discusses everything that's relevant, still offers entertainment and ignites conversation! Now and for about 2 years I've actually enjoyed watching it with my uncle. After just watching for 2 minutes were already in heated discussions and it's mixed with dead seriousness and laughter! I love my uncle for many reasons, and sometimes I do want to change the channel just for a change! But that doesn't change the fact that when it comes to CNN we connect!

Coffe Break!










And so It goes on!

Yes.. life does go on!

You know when you have a rude awakening of some sort... Like maybe a back stab from someone you trusted that makes you question things!? Sure it makes you question but it also gives you a realization of some sort! ... Whatever it is my question is "What happens after that?"

When something happens to you or you go through a hard time you learn! Sometimes It's hard to see the good part, meaning the learning experience itself! Sometimes it's so hard to see beyond the door that shut behind you that you can't see the wide open door that just appeared right in front of you! Most of the time we blame other people... how could he/she do this to me, or worse... how could I do this to myself? The longer you dwell over it the longer it will take to reach that new open door! The longer you ask yourself why the more your inhibiting yourself from reaching that source of positive energy you need, that sense of feeling well rested and at peace when you wake up in the morning will witter and you'll even forget what it feels like to feel good! You'll be digging a deep hole of self pity and lack of self worth... You'll be loosing time, time you can spend on smiling and letting bye gones be bye gones'!

I'm not saying it's easy... I'm saying it's necessary to take that step toward your new beginning no matter how hard it is! Nothing comes easy... if you ever thought it would be then "the rude awakening" itself will be your new open door!
 
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